JONNO IN SWITZERLAND (soon)

saturday night

2005-09-18T06:49:20Z

In other news, was on the desk for the sneeze last night. I have never laughed so hard. Dexter is just fantastic. He started talking about apples... APPLES?!?!?! It was class.

Afterparty would have been great too, but couldn't drink cos was driving, and couldn't stay. Damn Parents. We'll leave that subject for another time. But i still had a great time:D And cass makes the best sushi ever. And i'm not much of a sushi fan, partly cos the thought of raw fish really just does not do it for me. but this was vegan sushi and it was GREAT. So was hummus.

should_work_now @ 2005-09-17T13:52:00

2005-09-17T04:28:33Z

First bit of news. Yes i have a new computer, i have to say that our insurance company is very good, and has given me a new computer in under two days! is that not impressive??!?!!?!?!

Second bit of news- I played at the gov last night with an ACDC cover band!!! It was SOOOOOO good! The cround was so mixed in ages, it was great. Went there with Clare and she was being hit on left, right and centre by old guys, which helps when she's broke and so am i.... ANYWAYS, being an Acdc cover band, and with your knowlege that i really cant sing or play an instrument other than pipes, you can of course guess what i played... A long way to the top!!!! It was the best thing ever! for those of you who play instruments that can be played in bands, play at a gig! DO IT!

Of course the amusement of the night came from drunken people, and old people dancing. Of note were Engineer guy who's been in adelaide for 5 weeks, Hagrid from Harry Potter, woman who forced me to dance with her a zhivagohs one night in the past, and Bob the guy who rolled clare a cigarette before he asked her if she smoked and then proceeded to throw it over his shoulder when she didn't.

Also, if you were there, and lost a phone. It is gone for good. please dont ask me about this.

should_work_now @ 2005-09-13T21:37:00

2005-09-13T12:33:28Z

i dropped my computer. will probably not be updating for a while. have good lives in mean time

Friday Evening Live at the Fire

2005-09-03T03:48:45Z

Well...my attempts to get out of the house miserably failed. It ended up being hugh and myself sitting outside around our fire for the night as i feel terribly unloved due to a lack of people responding to my text message *shakes fist*....but i guess thats what you get for creating a gathering at 20 mins notice.

All was not lost though. Hugh decided that he would come over and we would save me from my boredom and him from his little brother who was having a sleep over of sorts. 12 years old. What a.... nice... age

So we were just sitting and talking around the fire, which was really nice when i decided that we should go for a drive to dan murphy's to get some supplies. Not thinking that at 10pm on a FRIDAY night it would be closed we were surprised to find all doors locked barred and bolted. All is still not lost. This has been the case several times in the past for me, and we reset our bearings to the Arkaba drive through.

I entered on foot and bought some of the most expensive coke EVER ($4 for a two litre bottle) and the cheapest bottle of filth EVER. by filth i mean Vat 69, which is its coloquial name, short for "The Devil's Filth" cos it is nasty, nasty, Nasty Shite.

So we then returned home and at this point i'd like to say that i failed year 10 science. Having said that, spent the evening being a rocket scientist, fusing matches together and general piromaniacy. Hugh and i decided that it was time for science in the back yard and we would send up rockets AND even use fuses. We lost many lives as it was a very risky business. Several launch pad explosions didn't do any favors to our reputation. After many attempts, we finally launched our rocket and got it going very well. We then poured the left over tea from the tea bags(rockets) into the fire and all you could smell was WEED! i'm serious, the next time you're bored and curious of other uses for a tea bad, tip the non soaked tea leaves onto a flame and you will see what i mean....it was so ammusing what possible explinations i could have come up with for parental units..

Well that was almost the end of our night except that we found the Devils Filth burns very easily, and proves that it really is the Devil's Filth!.... What we couldn't get over was the fact we drank that!! i want to see what happens when we pour the home made grappa on to the fire....now that is REAL rocket fuel peoples...

Oh and in other news, I FUCKING FINISHED THE ASSIGNMENT! FUCKING BUSINESS STUDIES! only 10% of course to go! Yay!

should_work_now @ 2005-09-01T18:25:00

2005-09-01T08:48:53Z

Ok attempt number two.

Poosties is better. Clare might be suffering from this....or something...it was better the last time.

What kind of disease are you?

Jonno:

Jonno is caused by sponges.

Jonno creates a dire fear of cute lil' puppies in those infected by it.
Jonno is curable by singing Michal Jackson songs at the top of your lungs, forever. You can never speak again, or you will die.

EDIT: IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW ONE MAKES IS SO ONE CAN SEE THE WRITING ON ABOVE THING EASILY IT WOULD BE MUCHLY APPRECIATED IF THEY WOULD SHARE THE SECRET!

Translation of Article

2005-08-31T12:24:10Z

Well this is a translation of an article. Its very rough and was done in 10 mins...however gives a rough idea of whats in it... The original is below named "FINALE EN MUSIQUE POUR LA TRANS ILLE_ET_VILAINE"

here it is

Saturday 10th of may, around 6. The riders and their partners of Trans Ille-et-Vilaine arrived in Saint Just. Claude and Yvette Debray, members of the Friends of the horse Association, accommodated them at the communal gites. About thirty of the riders spent the night there. After a good meal at the restaurant, they met up at the country “foyer d’animations”, where a fest-noz was organised. A surprise awaited the riders.

A young Australian of 14 years old, Jonathan McIntyre, of Scottish origins, in France to perfect our language, proposed a solo spectacular, dressed in traditional scottish dress. He demonstrated his talents on the bagpipes. He has played since the age of 7 and is part of a band which has placed 4th at an international level and first at a national level.

A demonstration appreciated by the riders, ready to return to Saint Just next year.

Hope was enjoyed.

AUSTRALIAN FUCKING PHONE BOXES

2005-08-30T12:43:04Z

This is my little rant about Australian Fucking Phoneboxes.

So earlier this evening i was was ringing my friend in Germany, Nicola, to her mobile so i thouth instead of a huge bill for phonecalls, why not just pay for it then and there. So i drove to a nice little phone box off the main road at about quarter to nine.

I even bought a STUPID excuse for a phonecard, which is actually a scrappy reciept with important numbers on them....which doesn't work anyways. So i went to my car and pulled out my petrol money tin which people put random small change in when they come in my car if they're generous....ANYWAYS, so i go and get said tin and start piling coins into the phone box and as i'm ringing it was getting fair breezy. Where there should be walls in any other country's phone boxes, in australian ones, they have a sodding grill. IT WAS BLOWING A GAEL INSIDE AND OUT OF THE BOX!

Oh well i could cope with it blowing a gael. then if blowing a gale wasn't enough, the machine actually started screaming at me. NOT the earpeice, THE ACTUAL PHONE and started flashing "COIN SLOT JAMMED ERROR ABORT ABORT THE WORLD IS ENDING"....well not quite the world was ending....or abort...but STILL...... *ahem* and then i lost contact with nicola. And it spat my coins at me onto the floor.

Now you'd think i would have learnt by now....but no...i trust it again. So i load up the machine and dial away and start speaking and explaining what was going on and putting more money in and more and more cos it was chewing it up VERY fast...and i'm serious it was making CHEWING SOUNDS with my money. AND THEN, as if it wasn't expected by this stage, it started raining. No. Not Raining. FUCKING PISSING DOWN FROM ALL DIRECTIONS. and where there is a door on phoneboxes of other nationalities, there is none in australian ones. so i am typing this to you with a very wet back. I am assured that it was most ammusing on the other end of the line

should_work_now @ 2005-08-11T20:51:00

2005-08-11T11:15:42Z

Well...today i did a whole day's school on one hour and fourty minutes sleep. i feel proud. I now realise the benefits of coffee...and i only fell asleap for about twenty seconds in a very comfortable arm chair....until a door was slammed...

French fighter pilots.

2005-07-26T09:45:00Z

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air.

Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"

Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

"What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!"

She smiles and they start kissing.

When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.

"Pierre! What are you doing?" asks the bewildered Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!"

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!"

Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.

Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms up and screams furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!"

Cabaret Afterparty

2005-07-03T03:42:48Z

Last night was the Caberet Afterparty (and i keep wanting to write carmen)

Well it wasn't that eventful.
There was lots of dancing, normal considering the whole cast is made up of dancers or exdancers...
There was lots of singing... normal considering we'd just finished a musical...(and yes we were singing songs from the show)
There was lots of drinking..normal considering we're all alcoholics and drama bums
There was a large stench of aniseed in the back of my car - stupid dodgie french bottles of pastis *grumbles*

BUT the most amusing thing was Mrs Statton. Ms Statton was still singing with us and dancing with us until well after i left the party. Which brings me to the next thing, how sad is this, I left the afterparty BEFORE Mrs Statton - WTF... ahh well, it makes for a fantastic story-

I'd put photos on here, but i didn't take any- I forgot my camera.

wow, i'll try adding a picture now

2005-07-02T05:50:54Z

Alors, maintenant je vais essayer d'ajouter une image

on va voir si ca marche

should_work_now @ 2005-07-02T14:08:00

2005-07-02T05:28:38Z

Well, first thing now that i'm bored that is kinda interesting -

This is Helga the Llama

ok so its not as interesting as i'd planned but hey

FIRST ENTRY EVER

2005-07-02T04:50:10Z

Well this is the first entry ever for my blog thingy that you're reading. Honestly, its boring so far, its got a grand total (including this post) of ONE ENTRY..WOW.

Soon it'll have lots of interesting things and pictures and stuff....and more stuff...but i'll add that as things become interesting